Managing feedback - both giving and receiving is not an easy task. I have been set a reflection exercise for my #GoogleEI project. A timely reminder for me to think about this aspect of collaboration.
When I am deep (stuck) in a project I find it hard to be objective and to see what I might need feedback on. I need to take a step back and try to see what I am doing from an outsiders point of view. I can work towards getting out of my own muddly and often very circular thinking to see what I am doing and where I might benefit from feedback. Very difficult to do, I find. However, making a start is the first step.
I do try to use the SMART mantra. This is good for goal setting as well as giving feedback. The R can be realistic or respectful.
I find that writing down the feedback as I get it helps me to be able to receive it more easily as I can come back and see what was actually said and respond to it in my time rather than react to it - something I do very easily. Asking questions helps me to clarify what the person is saying and helps me to gain a deeper understanding so that I recognise the point that is being made and what the implications are. Keeping the curious vibe is a helpful one for me. Why questions...
Accepting in principle and accepting that this specific feedback applies to me right now in my circumstances seems to be two entirely different things.
I find my first response is to engage with the feedback only in a professional, non-feeling way. I think this might be a way to manage reacting to the feedback.
My second response is, I realise, to justify why it doesn't apply to me or it doesn't actually address what I am needing.
What lens about myself am I passing the feedback through?
What beliefs about myself are stopping me accept or maybe even hear positive feedback?
Do I trust that the person giving the feedback has my best interests in mind? Why would the person go to the bother of giving me feedback if they did not have my best interests at heart?
Act on Feedback
Yes, acting on feedback sounds reasonable and simple so why am I not always doing it?
I think some of the answers are about going back to the points above and reflecting on the root causes of these.
As I get over myself and can focus on others I am in a position to give feedback as well as receive. In giving feedback I can be mindful of all my beliefs and lens and ensure that I am considerate about how someone else might be feeling. Following up with written points might be helpful - I could ask if this would be of value.
I can see a learning loop here - as I learn to seek feedback it is helping me to give feedback as well, each reinforcing the other. I learn from others and pass it on.
Photo of pg 94, https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6513321-the-mentee-s-guide